I've been struggling with this concept for a while now, trying to figure out how to best articulate it. But, the longer I wait to write, the more muddled my thoughts become and it starts to become obvious that every single one of us probably knows exactly what I am talking about.
Life is funny this way:
First you dream.
Then you get up the courage to act.
Then you are whisked away in the excitement of challenge and change.
Then everything is new and shiny.
Then you are start to get comfortable.
Then you can finally relax.
Then you love it and settle in.
Then, you wonder, what next?
What is that thing that pops up when you have the things that you thought you wanted to have? That thing in your belly that asks "what next?" It seems as if no matter what we have in life, no matter all of our accomplishments and dreams fulfilled, there is a nagging little something that just won't sit still. (Or maybe this is just me? Nah, I didn't think so...)
I've really been taking this past month to tell that little somebody in my gut "relax, kiddo. Look AROUND! It's all good!"
I'm not saying I'm throwing all my ambitions and dreams out the window. That's not the case at all. I'm just trying to get myself to simply absorb exactly the gifts that are at my feet today, and enjoy them anew.
Usually, to do this, I have to do one of the following: Pretend I never found X or pretend X was taken away.
Let me give you an example. When I have the following thought run through my brain "Should I walk down to see the sunset tonight? Ehhhh, maybe not." I snap myself back into the present and say to myself "Pretend it is 2007 and you are living in Brooklyn and you are dying to go for a nice walk, but it's all city and you can't even FIND the sunset if you tried." BAM! Next thing you know? I'm grabbing Dungee's leash and I am out the door.
Or, the other way... "Should I go surfing?" and my mind snaps me back into the present with "ARE YOU COMPLETELY NUTS NOW?!?!? JUST A YEAR AGO YOU WOULD'VE GIVEN YOUR FIRST BORN TO BE ABLE TO CATCH A WAVE ON YOUR OWN! IMAGINE IF YOU GOT HIT BY A BUS AND YOU COULD NEVER WALK AGAIN!" Next thing I know? I'm paddling out surfing.
These little methods may not be the healthiest or most sane ways to get myself to appreciate the present, but I sure as hell don't have all the answers. All I am is a girl trying to be happy and live life to the fullest.
On that note? I'm off to catch a sunset with Dungee and, by the way, my hair is still wet from surfing.
Life is STILL beautiful, even if we have to smack our brains around a little bit to realize it.
xo
Amanda
